Guess who?! That nervous look on my face? That's the way I felt seeing Santa... and going to Sunday School. I was so shy!! If you have shy kids, please know I get it...

Considering the events of last week in Connecticut I know we have been bound together in prayer, lifting up the children, families and community. Let's continue to pray for them and for our country as we discern the direction God asks us to take for our children. Please hug your kids for me, ok?

I hope you are maintaining your sanity. I love you dearly, my sisters.

Check out the photos of the pageant on Facebook!

Meredith

Why You're Never Failing as a Mother, Amy Morrrison

Spotted this article on FB this morning (when yes, I was creeping on my kids' FB pages...aka "spying" or as they say, "stalking.") (The morality of this habit is worth discussing in the future, but I feel no guilt!). Anyway I couldn't resist sharing this piece... Forgive the colorful language in the cartoon.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-morrison/motherhood_b_2271349.html

Also, after the holidays let's meet for 5 minutes during coffee hour. I'm still hearing that some moms cannot login and I want to figure out what's going on.

Hug your kids for me!!
Rev. Mer

Today we welcome baby Amelia Grace Hainsey, born at 11:21 pm on 12/12/12! Heidi and Amelia are doing well, and will be home tomorrow. Congratulations Heidi, Mark, and Jake!

Heavenly Father, you sent your own Son into this world. We thank you for the life of this child, entrusted to our care. Help us to remember that we are all your children, and so to love and nurture her, that she may attain to that full stature intended for her in your eternal kingdom; for the sake of your dear Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
(BCP p. 841)

Not Quite What I Expected... thoughts

I decided to take a break from the book this week because I am not in the mood to talk about fear which is the title of our next reading... Forgive me! But I've been working hard on the Christmas pageant this week, thinking a lot about the chaos and joy that pageants somehow always bring! I hope you'll be there. As is our tradition, everyone gets a part in the play... Come, bring the kids, and let's have some fun celebrating Jesus' birth.

Anyway, what really struck me was the overall title of the section we're reading, "Not Quite What I Expected...." I imagine Mary felt that way every single day of her pregnancy, and every single day of Jesus' life - for the same reasons we do. Who knew what pregnancy and motherhood would really be like? I certainly didn't know, and based on some of the comments posted recently, many of you were/are in the same boat. I remember at my baby shower my mother and another "older woman" exchanged one of those "looks," suggesting we young moms had no idea what was coming. They were right, of course, and thinking back, I believe their look was meant in a "we can't wait for you to join this club" sort of way. They knew that we would figure it out, just as they had.

And Mary figured it out, too - the joy of a new baby, the excitement of a toddler, the challenges of a student, the anxiety of an adolescent. You get the picture. Isn't it nice to know that Jesus, God incarnate, was parented by a woman? That he was probably a typical little kid, and she did everything she could so that he would become who he was meant to be. She must have been amazing. (and we won't talk about what she goes through at the cross)

Sarah came home from college yesterday, chatty and enthusiastic. I had these great expectations that she would start putting the decorations up, and beginning tomorrow, help out with some shopping. But when she texted me at 11, she was still in bed!! Not what I'd expected! But I've missed her and love her and don't blame her one bit for sleeping the day away! She's worked hard and needs the rest. It's all part of the journey of growing into who God's created us to be. I'm so glad we are blessed with the chance to be part of that creating and growing.

See you Sunday I hope!
Blessings-
Rev. Meredith

Thoughts... and a favor?

Dear friends,
First - Reyann, thanks for sharing your thoughts. The lack of response from the group makes me wonder if everyone is receiving these posts. Friends, if you are, can you please let me know at mheffner3@gmail.com? I'm thinking I could have screwed up the settings at some point which could explain the lack of response... (that's the favor part)

That, and yes, the book is a bit dry. Doesn't mean it can't inspire discussion. I'd be happy to even hear, "I hate it..." I'm also happy to find something else. Join in!

Meanwhile - interesting article in The Post which also might inspire discussion. Did anyone see Petula Dvorak's column on Tuesday, "Keeping mum on momhood is no help?" If not, here's the link:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-parenting/post/petula-dvorak-on-marissa-mayer-talking-about-motherhood-is-important/2012/12/04/7de11a0e-3e1f-11e2-a2d9-822f58ac9fd5_blog.html
(or just go to washingtonpost.com and search on Petula Dvorak and the article will come up on a list of her blogs.) Thoughts?

Pray for the youth group - we're having a lock in on Saturday and will be working on the Pageant (10:00 on 12/16 - COME!!) and learning about Nets for Life. I love them, but they're always up to something! (2nd favor...)

Peace-
Meredith

I'm just wondering if I am on the same page as the idea~concept 

when it comes to blogging.  I feel like I'm over participating but I didn't think blogging was like going to lecture - isn't it supposed to be like a virtual conversation? I thought we all read and “blogged" what our thoughts were, raw or edited.  Not everyone posts every time but we also comment on each others.

I will be the first to admit that I’m not organized, the material doesn’t have enough sparkle to keep me going, and I get busy.  For me, I am not organized is most of it.

I think the solution to have a blogging forum is worth a try; worth a challenge to myself to at least comment or answer one of the questions posed.  I don’t know about Meredith or anyone else but I’m all for bringing up topics, inspirations, God moments I’ve wanted to share but don’t have an audience for…..

As for busy, well, I can only speak for myself.  I think busy is what has contributed to my lack of connection with other growing Christians.  I’m busy on Sundays, and work, and have a kid, and a husband, and a cat… It’s the kind of droning in my ears that having Christian fellowship eradicates.  I hope virtual fellowship will help.

 I pray that I develop a more healthy appitite to be involved. Amen.

Reyann “Mamamama” Bowden

Advent begins this Sunday!

The season of  Advent begins this Sunday. This is a great opportunity to remind the kids that the Christmas season is about more than Santa - it's about waiting for the birth of Baby Jesus. The Advent Wreath, or Advent calendar if you have one, becomes sort of a Christmas countdown, and provides a great opportunity to talk about what we're waiting for and what Jesus' birth will mean.

At our house, we light the Advent wreath every night at dinner. I usually have to replace a few candles along the way, but the kids love it. I was a big fan of Advent calendars, but I must admit I'm not so good at remembering to buy them until Advent is already upon us...

Other ideas for this season - we have a nativity set with many pieces. We set out a piece every day, saving Baby Jesus for Christmas Eve. This particular set is wooden - and Baby Jesus proudly sports Grace's teeth marks from that time long ago when biting Baby Jesus seemed like the right thing to do. The kids carried Jesus around well into Epiphany - and that is why my mother bought us two spare Jesus's. She was sure Jesus was going to be lost!

Another countdown tool is to make a paper chain. Using construction paper, you attach a loop a day - and by Christmas you have a chain that is 25 loops long. And of course there are always those chocolate Advent calendars... But there's always this question: are those calendars for grownups or kids?! (I would say it depends on the quality of the chocolate...)

Any other ideas?
A blessed Advent to all!
Rev. Meredith

On being a mother, p. 10

I chuckled a little when I read today's reflection. I think there's no greater tension between playing the ideal mom and the mom whose life is chaos than during Advent!

I mean, we're supposed to have the perfect house and the perfect Christmas tree and perfect decorations and perfect presents for everyone. We're also supposed to have the perfect prayer life and the perfect Advent reflections and the perfect experience at the Christmas Eve service... Fortunately we learn soon enough that life is never perfect - it wasn't for the disciples - and it isn't for us.

I remember well the Christmas before Zach was born. Doug, Sarah, Grace and I were visiting my folks in  their 2 bedroom condo in Norfolk. My brother, sister-in-law and their two kids were also there. (all kids were under the age of 4) The tree was decorated, and the church service was nice, and my mother had prepared a wonderful meal... and just as we were finished eating, the kids started getting sick. One by one throughout the night we were taking them to the bathroom and washing sheets. Fortunately my parents decided to stay in a hotel - they had no idea what was going on back at their house. Boy, were they shocked to come home and find that Christas morning wasn't at all what they expected it to be! We laugh now...

At this stage of the game, I think we do the best we can - loving our kids, showing them Jesus, teaching them the joy of giving, knowing they will already understand the gift of receiving... and we let the need for perfection go.

I'm sure in following Jesus the disciples had to let their idea of perfection go as well  - think about the time they were trying to shush the children away, and Jesus said, "no no, bring them back to me!" Chances are good that time with the kids was chaos... imperfect... and yet with Jesus, miraculous.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Our college girl came home - and made three trips to the doctor with a pretty sever case of bronchitis. Fortunately she is doing much better. Otherwise we had a great time visiting with family.

Look for some Advent thoughts to come your way next!
Blessings-
Rev. Meredith

Giving thanks for family and children... More blogging next week... Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Parenting...

I was reminded of an image from a TED conference on taboo's of parenting  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12OAr0lt4bk . (If you want a good laugh and enjoy the science of parenting, check it out.) It was the front of a gigantic truck with a licence plate that said LOVE.  This is the picture the world paints. So when I read this entry on p. 9, it was reaffirming.  I am glad to read that others are honest about the journey that love take as it grows. It helps when trying to decern what's healthy.  Sometimes the most accessible information is only powerful because of it's accessibility. Even with knowing this I still find myself with preconcieved notions on life's intricacies.

Although, the love I have as a mother is not like any other love. The transformation I feel in my family and inside of me is the fruit of this.  The day will come when things break down.  But for now, I can be really grateful that there is a peace that surpasses my own understanding just draped over our little nucleus.

Any thought on the clip?

Parenting and the challenge to love, p. 9

Sometimes it's easy to love our children, and sometimes it's not. Sometimes we are tired or they are tired; or we have had enough or they have had enough. Sometimes it's simply a communication problem - we don't know what they need, and they can't seem to tell us; or we don't know what we need and they're way too young to even guess. And so - everyone falls apart. Regardless, even when we're at our wit's end, we still love our children... we just have a hard time showing that love.

But our love does not make us perfect parents. We all have bad days, but that doesn't change the love we have for our kids.

So - how do we express our love even when we don't feel like it? For me, a chat with a good friend always helps. Not to mention a time out - whether for me or for the kids. After that I think it's our normal routine that reveals the consistency of our love - bedtime with a song or story, prayers at dinner, hugs and laughs, a bubble bath (for me or them) and a glass of wine with my husband. But I think the most comfort is found in the promise that Jesus makes - that this will pass and everything will be ok.

How are you?
You're in my prayers.
Blessings,
Rev. Meredith

Practice, p. 8

Dear friends-
The previous post is a picture of "my baby." Feel free to add your own!

Special thanks to Reyanne for sharing her thoughts. I especially liked her reflections regarding the title "parent." I still struggle with how much practice in involved in being a parent - and I have an 18 year old! Just yesterday my daughter called to say she is having trouble with her college roommate. Ever the optimist, she's sure all will be well, but as her "parent," I am being forced to practice "staying out of it." It's incredibly difficult! After all, as a parent I am practiced at fixing things... and this is something I cannot fix/should not fix... Letting go is something else we'll have to learn...

In our reflection for this week Lindsay Lunnum says, "Parenting, like faith, is something that takes practice." Do you feel that this is true? Do you have to practice your faith in order to have a rich spiritual life? I know I do. How can we help one another "practice our faith?" while we are also practicing our parenting?

As I read this piece I also wonder if parenting (I know at least one of you is still waiting to be a parent... won't be long now!) has changed your spiritual life at all. We'll talk about this more as the Christmas Pageant nears... I never connected so fully with Mary until I had a baby of my own.
By the way - Our next Joyful Noise family service is on November 18th, and the pageant is on December 16th! Come and see! and bring the kids!

May God bless you and keep you - and your families -
Rev. Meredith

Meredith's baby... Mission Trip 2012

Learning by Living

Hi Everyone,  I've never blogged before & I feel a little like I'm in a new store "virtually".  I even have the benefit of already having a gmail account.  It still told me I wasn't invited.  I'm too old now ( at a perpetual 35 with a 1 yr old) to take it personally.  Lo & behold, I turned the virtual corner and found you all!

I have ventured into Changing Diapers, Changing Lives and at first glimpse felt, oh cute.. a little devotional to stir my mommy heart. I read, Parenting in the flesh, and thought, we're  so close to the moment in time that there is still a sense of shock about it.  Our daughter is ?really? the culmination of the great love we share.  It's not that I can't appreciate the message or be moved by it. I'm just still in the WOW of it. 

The second devotional, Learning by Living reminded me of things that life has forced me to do;  things that have humbled me, things I have had to do afraid.  I remember when 'being by living' became less of a burden for me.  I had gotten ahold of some Joyce Meyers tapes ( much better than TV).  One was entitled, Do It Afraid.  Whatever the delivery was, it brought me to my gate of fear.  And then, with all this resolve in her voice she said between her teeth, "Now DO it, afraid."  After that, I felt the empowerment that comes with resolve.  I was able to feel forthright when confronting new tasks with anxiety.  Not knowing & not 'being' lost much of its power over me.

It's a nice thing about being a parent that there's no confusion in the title. When one has a child , they get the title. It's not like becoming a gardener where there is a period of ambiguity and self-identifying and other's acknowledgement.  If I grow a little am I a gardener? What if I only grow one every other year?  When a person has a child, they get to have the title before earning it.  Hmm, reminds me of another relationship we have...  Oh, and I don't have to worry about filing on time for it.  What a gift.

Learning by Living, p. 7 of "Changing Diapers Changing Lives"

I read the reflection for today and thought, "I've been a parent for almost 19 years, and I still don't know what I'm doing..."

As the author points out, faith and parenting are primarily learned by doing. However, I think having faith is often easier than parenting - I guess because faith doesn't have the free will to throw a temper tantrum and faith doesn't need to be potty trained... The real test, tho, is having faith enough to let our children grow and become, not who we want them to be, but who God has made them to be. We need a lot of faith to let go of the wheel (figuratively speaking),especially when our beloved children are in the car. Fortunately, love abides, and with God's help we can both parent - and let them go.

What do you think? Is it more difficult to have faith or to parent?

Blessings!
Meredith

Note: the ssignment each week is easy! No need to try to read the entire book. Just read one page at a time. Thus far I have reflected only on the first piece on the first page. I'll try to add a reflection each week. Blessings, my friends!

Parenting in the flesh and Spirit, reflection 1

When my first child was born, I remember praying to God, "Now I know how much you love me... because I love this child more than anything else... and you love me even more than I love her. Thank you, Lord..." I was completely overwhelmed.

Sarah was born on Thanksgiving weekend, so the church Christmas Pageant occurred soon thereafter. That year I felt a very new and different connection to Mary - and to Jesus. The story of God incarnate now had a more physical depth than I'd ever experienced before. This is how I relate to the Incarnation, as Garcia describes in his reflection. What reflection of God's love for us!

Heavenly Father, you sent your Son into this world. We thank you for the life of our children, entrusted to our care. Help us to remember that we are all your children, and so to love and nurture them, that they may attain to that full stature intended for them in your eternal kingdom; for the sake of your dear Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
(BCP p. 841)

Any thoughts? Write and tell us, and feel free to share news about your family.
Blessings-
Meredith

Here they are...

This is my second post to our Changing Diapers, Changing Lives blog. Can't say I know what I'm doing yet, but am ready to "Learn by doing" rather than wait any longer to launch our St. Mark's mom's group! One thing I have failed to say, which is important, is this - everything we post is confidential. This is a sacred group, and sacred space. There are no good and bad, or right and wrong reflections. We listen and share in love, as Christ asks us. In this way, we'll carry one another on the journey. As we begin to share and know one another, let's take an opportunity to introduce ourselves and our children: My children are well out of diapers... Sarah is 18 and is a freshman at Hope College in Holland, MI. I miss her terribly and am having an interesting time forcing myself to let go, especially when I'd rather be the Mom who is fixing everything all of the time... Grace is a senior in high school. She's currently applying to colleges- and is very stressed. There's a fine line in my head between wanting to help her and wanting to send her to her room. (No, that urge does not go away.) Zach is 14 - a freshman in high school. I'm enjoying seeing the person he's becoming. Now, if only he could communicate in words instead of grunts... My husband Doug and I recently celebrated our 25th anniversary with a weekend trip to Florida. He is an attorney. I think you know what I do for a living... Please introduce yourself and your family. Also, if my instructions are poor and you know a better way to do/post things, please inform the group by responding to all in my recent e-mail from revmeredith@cox.net. This is our blog - feel free to post photos, articles, or other reflections. Look for another post later this week! God bless you and keep you- Meredith

Changing Diapers, Changing Lives

I've been thinking a lot over the past year about how we can support families with young children. Having had three of my own, I know how overwhelming it can be. I also remember how important it was to have friends who supported me as I gradually learned what being a parent entails! (It wasn't always easy!) When I have spoken to mothers of infants here at St. Mark's, I often hear apologies - they're sorry they're not in church, but they're afraid their little ones will disturb all the other worshipers... or, they simply cannot get everyone dress and out the door on a Sunday morning. I approached you all after reading a review of the book "Changing Diapers, Changing Lives." It came to me (call it the Holy Spirit)that perhaps we could form a support group on-line, centered around this book, so that even when we cannot be together at St. Mark's, we have a way to connect with God and with one another. This doesn't mean we don't want to see you at church! Think of it as a reminder that you have a community here at St. Mark's where we can support one another - and our families - even if we don't have the time to get together on a regular basis. The books have been ordered. Once they arrive, I'll let you know. Then I'll make assignments and post a "conversation starter" here in this blog. I promise they'll each be short - and together we'll determine how we'd like our readings spaced, time-wise. Feel free to post your own thoughts, and although this is a closed blog, I encourage you to invite your friends to participate. The books are $5 and can be purchased through Forwardmovement.org. You and your children are dear to me, and I hold each of you in my prayers! Be in touch, and God bless you always- Rev. Meredith